A New Start

Hey everyone! I know...it's been about a year since I last updated my blog haha, but I think it's time that I start using it again. As you can see, I've deleted all my previous posts, simply because I wanted a fresh start on here. Well anyway, where do I begin...a lot has actually changed in my life over the past year. I am done high school now (thank goodness), and I am currently taking a year off. I'm trying to save up some money for university, and of course trying to get my life back on track. To be honest, I've had some mixed feelings about this whole year off thing. People always tell me that it must be so nice not having to do any school work, but it actually really sucks! It's not that I like doing school work or anything, but working non-stop is not a lot of fun for me. Being a cashier is not what I really had planned for my life lol. I wish I was doing something more with my life. I want to be out there making a difference in people's lives, but instead I'm at home working everyday, and being bored with life. It can actually get kind of lonely at times. I mean usually whenever I'm at home, I'm by myself because everyone else is at work, and then of course when everybody comes home, I leave for work. None of my friends are usually around either because they are in school. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to get used to that. I guess I'm ready for some change in my life...I'm bored with just having to work all the time. I don't want my life to just be about work. I want God to use me in this world, I want to make a difference. The good thing about this year off though, is that I've been able to figure some things out about myself. I've been able to get my life back on track, and I'm not as lost and confused as I was a few months ago. I feel like I actually have some purpose in my life for once. I mean before, I felt like I was watching my life slip away from me, and that I had let people down. I was disappointed in myself for so many reasons. For instance, I felt like I had let people down because I decided not to go to university this year. I also felt horrible with myself for giving up on piano. For those of you who don't know, I'm not doing music anymore in university. I actually ended up stopping my piano lessons in June. Something just didn't feel right about it. I felt like the biggest failure in the world, because I pretty much gave up, and I'm not usually the type of person who gives up on things. But now that I think about it, I know I made the right decision. I can play the piano whenever I want, and I can play whatever I want. It's so much better that way! But anyway, I feel like things are coming into focus a little more in my life. I used to say that I felt like I was lost in a maze, and I couldn't find my way out, but now I feel like things are so much more clearer. I truly believe that this year off has helped me tremendously. Even though it can be hard to see at times, God has truly blessed me these past couple of months. He has guided me through this confusing time in my life, and has given me a better idea of what I want to do with my life. Right now I'm looking into teaching, so hopefully that works out for me. Lately, I've been thinking about how thankful I am for my friends. I really don't know what I would do with out them. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with them since they were going off to university, but I was totally wrong. I've also been able to talk with some of my old childhood friends. It's so great to see how God is working in their lives. I'm so thankful for them, because even though it's been years they still want to talk. I've met so many awesome people in my life, and it's so great being able to catch up with them, and see what they're doing with their life. Well anyway, now that I've written a novel lol, I should probably be leaving for work now. It feels so great writing on here again. Also, for those who like jazz music, there's a really nice song called "Only the Lonely" by Tierney Sutton that is soo good. You have to listen to it! Ok I'm done rambling now!